He'd have to be able to perceive the world beyond the tip of his penis...

Today was the completely unnecessary DNA test which was requested by The Donor/Douche Bag in order to further post-pone the obligatory child support payments in which soon enough he will be paying. He knows he is the father, I know he is the father, unless of course I created Jack during a midnight sleep walking/dream combo with the neighbor next door and have absolutely no recollection. The second option would be much more preferred at this point in time.
3 hours at the Court House equals not such good times for a 1 year old. Although, I must say he did absolutely fabulous during the cheek swabbing process. Could be that the man in the white coat hummed while doing said swab or could just be that my son enjoys having a q-tip rubbed on the insides of his cheeks, either way- It was pleasant.

And then suddenly the trip became rather unpleasant when faced with the $22.00 parking fee I had to fork out. Is it really necessary to charge that much JUST TO PARK?! Should I have given them a kidney as well? I’d like to add that right onto the list of back payments of child support for the last year. Since the DNA test was his big idea to begin with I feel he should pay all the fees, including the fee for the delicious and satisfying burger I had for lunch. A girls got to eat, I can’t just go offer up my DNA without first being fed…A Burger…With ALLOT of Garlic… It’s too bad I didn’t have the opportunity to sit near him; as much as I despise him I would have loved the opportunity to breathe heavily in his direction after ingesting as much garlic as I did.

Results will be in in 2-3 weeks.

Got home to see that Jack had painted a picture of the donor in his diaper. Not only did it look just like him but smelled like him too!